culture "shock"

On a whim, I flipped through our ACM Student Handbook today. I paused to review the section “Culture Shock.” It was the first time I opened the handbook since summer and I don’t remember penning “how different could Italy be?!” in the adjacent margin. I guess during the summer, when Florence was still an unknown distant place, I could not fathom the possibility of experiencing culture shock in Italy.

I think the label “culture shock” is what misled me. I perceived “culture shock” as meaning literally being shocked by new customs or traditions. I think I would have tried to steel myself more to the prospect of experiencing “culture shock” if I had felt like Italy would be radically different from America. But from a glance I naively believed them to be similar enough to think myself immune. I think instead of being called “culture shock” it should be titled something more like “culture astonishment.” The subtle yet very real differences between the States and Italy have crept up on me. Lately I’ve been feeling irritated by daily events which have begun to slowly grind on my efforts to be positive.

Before rereading this section from the handbook I was at a loss of words to describe or pinpoint what was bringing me down.

From the handbook:
Distinctive Features of Culture Shock:
“Culture shock does not result from a specific event or a series of events. Instead, culture shock comes from encountering different ways of doing, organizing, perceiving or valuing which threaten your basic, unconscious belief that your encultured customs, assumptions, values and behaviors are right.”
“culture shock does not strike suddenly or have a single principal cause. Instead the cumulative effects build up slowly, from a series of small, difficult-to-identify events.”

Sources of Culture Shock:
“Continually experiencing situations in which you are expected to function with maximum skill and speed, but without adequately explained rules”
“Being cut off from familiar cultural cues and patterns, especially the subtle, indirect ways you normally express feelings. All the nuances and shades of meaning that you instinctively understand and that make your life comprehensible are suddenly taken away.”
“Living, studying or working over an extended period of time in an ambiguous situation”

ACM truly did a fantastic job with this section. I wish I had taken better heed of its wisdom. However reading something, does not necessarily equate with comprehending it. And to be honest, I never could have understood this passage during the summer, while I was in the utmost comfort of my home, until I began to actually experience some of these emotions.

it's a matter of opening the door. but where's the key?

Well I’ve done quite the sporadic job of maintaining this blog. Originally I made a hazy goal of updating at least once a week, but now I see that was an unrealistic expectation. The primary explanation for why I’ve posted so few entries is because of the electric speed with which time has jolted by. I’ve been so busy with class and life here that I’ve barely processed my experiences, let alone had a moment to write my thoughts down. However our midterm break provided a much needed chunk of free time, in which I did some serious evaluation of my first two months abroad.


I was at a particularly low point ten days ago before the break. I felt like an abject failure in terms of my Italian speaking skills. There were many contributing factors to that sentiment, but the main reason provoking this disheartening conclusion, was a particular conversation in Italian held with some students from the Elementary class. It was utterly frustrating to feel like my Italian was only moderately stronger than theirs. I’ve been studying Italian for a year, while they have only taken a month-long intensive course! I’m glad for their quick grasp of the language, and need to take into account their fluency in Spanish, but I still can not help feeling upset that I haven't had a similar drastic improvement. What exactly is it that’s holding me back? Why don’t I have better proficiency in speaking Italian yet?? Ugh. Grammatically I’ve improved, but what I can write on paper doesn't come as easily when attempting an actual conversation with a person.
Maybe I placed too high of expectations on myself, but I still can’t help feeling that my spoken Italian has plateau-ed to some degree. It is difficult for me to envision the near-fluency that I hoped to achieve by the end of this semester.

However, when it hit me today that I have less than two months here, it makes me all the more motivated to work even harder at getting my Italian to the level I want it to be. Part of the challenge will be to somehow foster friendships with Italians- which has proven to be more difficult than I realized (that topic in and of itself deserves its own post to go into more detail about later).

Va bene, well after that little rant, I have lots of reading to catch up on but will try to devote an entry later in the week to actually discussing how my midterm break in Barcelona and Prague went. All in all I'm staying positive and have more to loaf about soon!

contemplative mood

"Alas, ye generations of men, how mere a shadow do I count your life!
Where, where is the mortal who wins more of happiness than just the seeming,
and, after the semblance, a falling away?"

-chorus in Oedipus Rex